Tuesday, April 7, 2009

congratulations I'm sorry


So - the good stuff of late; 1.) I was NOT rejected by UCLA last Friday, and so was able to donate platelets. 2.) We saw the Gin Blossoms last Saturday night! What a great show. I've loved them for sooo long (they were in constant rotation in my car when I was pregnant with my now-14-year-old daughter) but haven't ever seen them live. I was NOT disappointed! I now officially have a crush on Robin Wilson. 3.) The Etsy shop's been pretty busy.

And..the not-so-good stuff; 1.) Still in massive debt, trying to get a loan modification in order to keep the house. The process is dragging on and on and on. 2.) I managed to hurt my neck (not hard to do, I have a titanium plate in there fusing two vertebrae together, so it's touchy) while doing some cleaning on Saturday. It's really hard to turn my head and it hurts all the time, so I can't go to spin class. It's hard to do anything, even carve stamps.

I've been having bouts of middle of the night insomnia all week and it sucks. I wake up at around 1am and my brain starts spinning out as I watch the hours go by. Here's a little exerpt from my in-head dialogue last night.
"Okay...go back to sleep. Crap, did I call that client? I'll text myself so that I'll remember to check tomorrow, where's my phone? Crap, it's charging. Dammit. If I go get it, he'll (husband) wake up. Ugh...(thoughts directed at husband)..STOP snoring!! *At this time husband actually does briefly stop snoring, during which time I realize I can hear our renter snoring in his room. Awesome.* *Renter stops, husband resumes.* *A mockingbird starts to sing* Oh, good, nothing's more soothing than a bird who mimics from car alarms and cell phone ring tones. Why can't I think of the lyrics to Train Wreck (Glen Phillips song)? I know I know them. 'She looked just like a train wreck that could've been avoided, in a third world country by a long stretch of farmland where the....' Crap! What comes next? Why am I trying to think of this??? *I'm aware that it's stupid to lie in bed fuming over forgotten lyrics but I'm powerless to stop myself.* 'By a long stretch of farmland where the....??..run the topsoil down the river so that.....' CRAP!! UGH! Stop snoring!!!! *insert multiple financial worries here*".
Yeah...that's pretty much a constant loop repeating for hours.

This morning I was happy because I found all my Gin Blossoms cds, so naturally my car decided to hold my favorite one hostage. It does this thing now and then where it won't eject the cd, but won't play it either. It simply holds it hostage for a few days, always during a time when you most want the cd, inciting much (and always futile) pounding of the dashboard with fists. *sigh*
I'd better get back to work.

3 comments:

News From the Holmestead said...

I don't know if this will help with the insomnia, but here's what I used to do when I was too wound up to fall asleep: I would envision a blackboard, and every time I had a thought, it appeared on the blackboard in the form of writing. But there was also a little man wearing a lab coat with a blackboard eraser in his hand, and each time a thought started to appear on the blackboard, he would calmly erase it. He kept doing this until I fell asleep. *g* Call it creative visualization or whatever, but it worked for me.

sugarskull said...

That's pretty creative! I'll give it a shot. :)

Olitopia said...

Beautiful!

About Me

Hippieville, CA, United States
This is the story of life after losing the "real" job and the house, trying to find the middle ground between making a living and actually living.