Wednesday, September 30, 2009

there goes my modeling career

Hahahah!! (I'm laughing at the title) As if!! Ugh. I'm not a particularly good-looking girl, I don't harbor any illusions about that, but I'm really not digging this whole broken nose thing. Here's how I look today. It's straighter than it was, for sure, and the bruising is clearing up...but, eh. I don't know. It still doesn't look right. I know I have to wait for the swelling to go away and for things to fully heal, but right now I'm worried that I'll always look like this and I don't like it. Even if surgery is what it will take to make it right, that can't happen for at least six months, maybe a year. The bones have to fully heal in order to be broken the "right" way and reformed. So....however this heals, I'm stuck with it for a while. No cameras, please.
OH - I do have to say, if you ever want to experience true bliss, let a doctor pack your nose, leave it that way for four days (this isn't the bliss part) during which you'll discover there are nerves inside your nose that, when pressed, make it feel as though a needle is scratching the back of your eyeball, inside your ear, and inside of some of your teeth (still not the bliss part). Then......let him remove it. Now, the removal itself is shockingly uncomfortable (the doctor actually told his nurse that if I'd been a man he'd have had me lie down first, because men tend to drop like flies during the removal of packing, ha!), the sudden absence of the pain, combined with the novelty of being able to breath through one's nose again...pure bliss. So yeah, that's one good thing, I guess.

Monday, September 28, 2009

in memory

Three years ago today our much-loved corgi, Cecil, was hit and killed by a car. I thought the grief would rip me to shreds that day and I wondered if the feeling would ever end. Turns out it never really goes away. I still think of him all the time, still miss him, still keep his collar under my pillow. Grief mellows with time, I guess. Or you grow some sort of emotional scar tissue around it so that the edges seem dulled. But it doesn't really disappear. I spent a lot of time looking at my four beautiful dogs today (yes, even the bonehead who busted my face) and reminding myself to be grateful for every minute I have with them. You just never know how long you get to have them. I hope and pray that I have many good years left with them, but I understand (and I wish I didn't) that you just never know.
I still love and miss you, Cecil. Always will.

Friday, September 25, 2009

and it's not even that time of the month

I have what looks suspiciously like a tampon shoved up my nose right now. *sigh* Last night the splint on my nose came off, the adhesive just wasn't holding. I noticed that my nose looked crooked again, so I called the doctor first thing this morning. They had me come in and yep, the bones had moved back to the broken position. Awesome. So he had to reset it again - same process as on Monday, only with an added treat today; packing!! In order to prevent the bones from shifting again, the doctor had to pack my left nostril. Packing entails shoving what appears to be a miniature (and not really THAT miniature) tampon waaaaaay up your nose. Like, further up than you thought possible. Sounds painful, huh? Well guess what? IT IS!
So now my nose looks really fat due to the packing, there are strings protruding from it (to keep the mini-tampon from slipping down the back of my throat) that are taped to my nose. Talk about adding insult to injury. I'm not fit to be seen in public. The doctor actually apologized to me, saying "This is what I was hoping I wouldn't have to do to you...". I get to endure this indignity until Tuesday morning. He warned me that I might wind up needing surgery anyway, after everything is healed. It just might not go back into place without it.
I'm so bummed out today. I'm in pain, I look disgusting - I'm supposed to be helping out in the beer booth at an Oktoberfest this Sunday, but I don't think that's going to happen. I'd frighten away the customers.
I actually made the stamps for the beer booth - the ones they'll stamp peoples' hands with when they buy their beer tickets. I was really excited about getting to see my stamps in use - they're really cool, little beer steins with the initials of the organization running the Oktoberfest. They bought six of them from me! :)
Alrighty, time to get back to wallowing in self-pity and painkillers.

Monday, September 21, 2009

in a fix

Welp, just got back from the doctor's. He was able to set my nose. It was broken in two places, so I got to enjoy the sounds of it re-breaking twice. *shudder* It's a rather brutal process. They shove cotton soaked with numbing solution waaay up your nose and leave it there a while. Then when your nose is numb, the doctor inserts a metal rod up there and just WRENCHES it with all his strength until crrrrack! it goes back into place. Then he did it again on the other side where the smaller break was. That side wasn't numb. Um...ouch. He handed me a mirror and I could see that it was straight. Then he splinted it and sent me on my merry way. Now that I look at the pic it seems crooked to me, but I think that's the swelling setting in from today's festivities. Whew. Hopefully this will be a one-time deal because it wasn't fun. Now I'm sitting around with a tissue crammed up my nose because it's bleeding. The numbing stuff is wearing off and OUCH!! Doesn't look like I'll get a lot of carving done today. I hope it heals straight!! And that's all for now.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

just around the bend

I had to go do a dog training session today with my face looking like this. I'm sure it instills a lot of confidence in an owner when a dog trainer shows up with a broken nose courtesy of her own dog! Heheh. No, it went well, actually. The day after tomorrow is my appointment to get my nose straightened. Oh please please PLEASE let it not be too swollen to work with this time!! I know I'm probably going to look even worse when the doctor gets done with me, but at least I'll know that my nose is healing straight instead of bent. Bent is not a good look for me. Neither is purple/yellow/black-eyed, but I know that'll go away on its own. The nose, though, won't go back to normal without assistance. So the sooner the better! Come on, Monday....

Thursday, September 17, 2009

to spite my face

Wow, another day, another color blossoms on my face. This is how I look today. *sigh* Look at the top of my nose and then at the bottom and you get a good sense of the curve in it. Nice, eh? And I'm sure the re-setting process is only going to add to the bruising. A case of things getting worse before they get better, I suppose.
Today's the first day I've felt well enough to sit down and carve stamps, so that's good.
Back to work..

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

get bent

Today I went to the specialist to have my nose re-set, but it's still too swollen to be manipulated. I have to go back on Monday. At least I got to meet the doctor and hear about the proceedure, so it's not as scary. Sounds like it will be gross but relatively pain-free. Meanwhile I still look like a freak (more so than usual, that is) and feel like everyone who looks at me thinks I'm a domestic violence victim. I even skipped my daughter's back-to-school night tonight because I don't want her teachers' first impression of me to be that I look like a battered woman. Mmmm...batter.
I've carved a lot of new stamps since my post about the camping trip. Here's a picture of one.
More to come.

Monday, September 14, 2009

why couldn't she just have eaten my homework??

So, my dog broke my nose. And gave me a concussion. Yup. I was getting ready to leave the house and go for a hike, bent over to pick something up off the floor, and she jumped up to get on the bed. Instead, she smashed her giant yellow lab head into my face. I blacked out for a second and hit the floor, my nose gushing blood. Jim said he actually heard it break. Niiiiiiice.
And this isn't even the worst thing that's happened within the past week. We have a very close family member in the hospital right now after attempting (and very nearly succeeding at) suicide last Wednesday. I won't go into those details here, but we've been at the hospital daily dealing with that. Tonight's trip to the hospital for ME was actually our third trip there today! At least our family and friends didn't have to come to the hospital to visit..they're already there!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
It's sort of funny, really. Or maybe it's the concussion.
More as it happens...

About Me

Hippieville, CA, United States
This is the story of life after losing the "real" job and the house, trying to find the middle ground between making a living and actually living.