Monday, September 28, 2009

in memory

Three years ago today our much-loved corgi, Cecil, was hit and killed by a car. I thought the grief would rip me to shreds that day and I wondered if the feeling would ever end. Turns out it never really goes away. I still think of him all the time, still miss him, still keep his collar under my pillow. Grief mellows with time, I guess. Or you grow some sort of emotional scar tissue around it so that the edges seem dulled. But it doesn't really disappear. I spent a lot of time looking at my four beautiful dogs today (yes, even the bonehead who busted my face) and reminding myself to be grateful for every minute I have with them. You just never know how long you get to have them. I hope and pray that I have many good years left with them, but I understand (and I wish I didn't) that you just never know.
I still love and miss you, Cecil. Always will.


Robin Hartman said...


Kim said...

The pain never really disappears, you are right. I still cry when I think of Violet, she's the only one where the pain is still so harsh.
Perhaps it's the same with you and Cecil. I think when you lose them unexpectedly AND traumatically, the grief is almost unbearable.
Bloody animals, anyway. And yet we keep letting more of them into our hearts ...

sugarskull said...

I think you're right, Kim. It's the combination of unexpectedness and trauma that seems to make the grief linger. We've lost other pets - both our cats within a month of each other, just a few months before Cecil, and those are deaths I've moved on from. But minute he was here and the next he was just never seems to stop hurting. :(

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Hippieville, CA, United States
This is the story of life after losing the "real" job and the house, trying to find the middle ground between making a living and actually living.